[Digital] Decolorization project #3

Circa 2009

So.... many.... knots..... today.....

Back in Saddle again (copy)

Here is a copy of my post in my main blog.

Winding the ELFIN* flight magnetometer using 36 Guage wire. It takes hours to get the machine set just right. No more pictures. Don't want to show the secret sauce ;)

[Digital Skull]

You tube video

[Plein air sketch] Kercoff, reverse color

[Digital] Decolorization project #2

circa 2009

[Digital] Decolorization project #1; circa 2009

In memoriam

[Plein air sketch] ]Finished a sketch today

[Acrylic on canvas] Madness

20h x 24w

[Digital] Self Portrait circa 2009

Double complete rainbow!!!! What does it mean???

[Acrylic] "I drift" circa 2009

This was an attempt to merge my poetry with my art, so I painted a picture and then spray painted a poem on top of the work. At the time, I was very interested in painting "nets," since we are just caught up in these nets in our lives, be them society, networks of friends, whatever. We live in nets that both trap us within them, but also keep us together as though we would just disintegrate into a billion atoms with out them holding us together. The dripped paint is supposed to represent rain, which goes along with some of the symbolism of the poem.

The poem to me is about letting go of control, and just accepting that you are adrift in a river that is carrying you where ever it wants to take you. That's life. You are caught up in this river, and most people try to fight against it, but if you just drift, if you just let go of this false belief of trying to control things, the river will carry you far far far away. I suppose the river is fate. 

"I drift"

Go through my Doorway,

And see them smiling.

See them dreaming at their lives,

They want it all, 

clenching it in their fists

Suck down everything, 

drink it up like a fairy tale.

I float in rivers too Deep to swim,

too broad to escape.

And who wants to be dry anyways?

The cold river is where I Belong,

where we all Belong.

The undertow is murder, and 

no lifeguard is on duty.

They all say to get out, “You’ll drown!” they yell.

Waving their arms like I can’t see them.

Running along the edge, 

till they can’t keep up.

I drift. 

They cannot stop me.

I sort of feel like this work is a failure. It doesn't really resonate what I had intended. To me, the protagonist in the poem has transcended the need to fight against the current, to struggle against the push of the water. The push of fate. To me, the protagonist is letting go, not trying to escape the net of their life, just accepting it. Some people have looked at it, and thought it was about suicide but that was not my intention. If I painted this now they would probably lock me up. The big thing about this work is that it pushed me into working less with canvas. In making this work, I damaged the canvas and decided it was time to look at new materials such as plywoods

Original sketch:

[Acrylic on Plywood] For Laura: Man in me vs. Leno's reflection.

This was when I was attempting to make multiple pictures depending upon the point of reference. The name of this work is "For Laura: Man in me vs. Leno's reflection," acrylic on plywood. "For Laura" since I gave it to my sister Laura. "Man in me" is below, while "Leno's reflection" is rotated 90 degrees. It is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet.

"Man in me":

Here we have the "Man in me" which is a reference to Bob Dylan song of the same name. It was in a movie I really like ("The Big Lebowski") and represents who I think the man is in me: Harrison Bergeron (from a short story by Kurt Vonnegut). In the story, all people are forced to be equal to the same standard. Those of extraordinary talent are forced to wear impediments and prostheses that curb their abilities. If you are beautiful, you have to wear a mask to hide it. Harrison Bergeron has thick glasses to impede his eye sight, headphones to prevent his ability to think and heavy weights to slow him down. In the work, people think that it is a curse to wear these items, but in the end they just make you stronger. If your forced to wear weights in order to slow you down, you grow used to the burden, become stronger, and suddenly the weight is less to bear. 

"Leno's Reflection":

This is the work rotated 90 degrees to show "Leno's Reflection." It's a reference to a Röyksopp song called "Poor Leno," where a small bear like creature (presumably named Leno) is trapped in a small pen of a zoo. It shows the extra ordinary actions that Leno took to evade capture by the zoo, skying through the great outdoors to suddenly be trapped in a small pen. Meanwhile Leno's mate witnesses the capture of Leno, and the music video ends with them being reunited, but with a piece of glass between them. The large red peices are the faces, while the smaller ones are the hands.

This portion of the work is about a girl (of course) who I was friends with for a long time. In many respects we were like the same person, she was like my twin soul but despite that we never made it work. When ever I was into her, she was pissed off at me. When ever she was into me, I was pissed off at her, and so we eventually pushed each other away.

This piece was the last major work I believe I did before my break down around 2005. It took 9 (?) months to complete on weekends while I was working a full time job. It's a style that I want to continue once I get my studio set up.

Here is a side image showing the side of the work a little better: